Well, let me tell ya ’bout this here rugby thing, the Major League Rugby, or whatever them fancy folks call it. Seems complicated, but I’ll try to make sense of it for ya, the way I see it. We gonna talk about them standings, you know, who’s winnin’ and who’s losin’.
First off, they got these teams. Lots of ’em, playin’ this rugby. Now, rugby ain’t like our corn huskin’ contests, but it’s a game all the same. They run around, throw a ball, and try to score. I ain’t quite sure how they score, but the more points ya get, the better ya are, I reckon.
- Win a game, ya get four points. That’s good, like findin’ a double yolk egg.
- Tie a game, ya get two points. Not as good as winnin’, but better than nothin’, like findin’ a dime on the road.
- Lose a game, ya get nothin’. Zilch. Like lookin’ for rain in a drought.
So, they keep track of all them points. That’s what them standings are all about. They put ’em in a big ol’ list, showin’ who’s got the most points and who’s got the least. Kind of like how we used to keep track of who picked the most cotton in a day. Major league rugby standings, that’s what they call it. Sounds important, huh?
Now, these teams, they play in a league. I think that’s what they call it. Kinda like how we got our church group and the farmers’ association. And in that league, they got different…uh…divisions, I guess. Like how we got the east field and the west field for plantin’. So, ya got standings for the whole league, and then standings for each division. Confusin’, ain’t it?
They got these numbers too. Lots of numbers. They got numbers for wins, numbers for losses, numbers for ties, and numbers for points. Makes my head spin faster than a weathervane in a tornado. But I figure them numbers tell ya who’s doin’ good and who ain’t. The more wins, the better. The more points, the better. That’s the way I see it for these major league rugby standings.
And then there’s this thing called… “wild card”. Sounds like somethin’ crazy, like a jackrabbit in the henhouse. I ain’t quite sure what it means, but it seems like it’s important for them standings. Maybe it’s like gettin’ a second chance, like when you miss the first pitch but still get to swing again. Anyways, they got standings for that too, the “wild card standings”. More numbers to make your head hurt. Seems like these sports folks like their numbers more than a banker likes his money.
They play all over the place, these teams. Different cities, different states, maybe even different countries for all I know. Just like how folks come from all over for the county fair. And every time they play, them standings change. One team wins, they move up. One team loses, they move down. It’s like a barn dance, always movin’ and changin’. But the main thing to look for in the major league rugby standings is who is at the top. That’s who’s winning, just like the biggest pumpkin at the fair is the best pumpkin.
I heard tell some folks bet money on these games. Can you believe it? Betting money on grown men runnin’ around with a ball. Reminds me of the time old man Johnson bet a whole hog on who could eat the most apple pie at the picnic. He lost, by the way. Ate too fast, I reckon. But these folks, they bet on who’s gonna win, who’s gonna lose, who’s gonna score the most points. And them standings, well, they help ’em figure out who to bet on, I guess. More numbers, more confusion.
So, that’s my take on these major league rugby standings. A bunch of teams, playin’ a game, gettin’ points, and them points gettin’ added up and put in a big ol’ list. And that list tells ya who’s winnin’ and who’s losin’. Simple as that, even if it sounds complicated with all them numbers and fancy words. It’s all about winning and losing just like growing corn or catching fish. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got to go feed my chickens. They don’t care about no rugby standings, they just want their corn.
I heard some fellers talking down at the store about things like ‘loosehead prop’. Sounded like a whole lot of gibberish to me. They said somethin’ about number 1 being to the left of the ‘hooker’. Well, I’ve seen plenty of hooks in my day, used ‘em myself for fishin’, but I ain’t never seen no hooker in a rugby game. And this loosehead prop, they say his head’s on the outside of the ‘scrum’ when it engages. Sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me. These city folk and their strange words! But I guess it’s important to them rugby fellers, just like knowing when to plant the corn is important to me. As long as they ain’t causin’ no trouble, I reckon they can call a thingamajig whatever they please. Just give me good soil and sunshine and I’m happy as a lark. I ain’t needing their major league rugby standings or their loosehead props for nothin’.
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