Well, let me tell ya ’bout this here Aspen Lakes Golf Course. It ain’t nothin’ fancy, but it’s somethin’ alright.
They say it’s close to Sisters, Oregon. Five minutes, they say. Never been to Sisters myself, but I reckon it’s a town. Old-west town, they call it. Sounds dusty to me.
But this here golf course, it’s got grass. Bentgrass, they call it. Fancy name for grass, if you ask me. Green stuff, though. Greener than my cow pasture, that’s for sure. And the greens, they’re the same kinda grass. Makes sense, I guess.
Them mountains, they’re somethin’ else. Big ol’ things, standin’ tall. They call ‘em the Three Sisters. Pretty, I guess, if you like that sorta thing. You can see ‘em from the golf course, they say. Breathtaking views, they call it. My breath’s just fine, thank you very much.
Now, this ain’t no ordinary golf course, mind you. They got these red sand bunkers. Sand traps, I call ‘em. Red sand, though. Never seen nothin’ like it. Makes it harder to get your ball out, I bet. More trouble than it’s worth, if you ask me.
They got eighteen holes, they say. That’s a lot of holes. Means you gotta hit that little white ball a whole lotta times. My old man used to say golf was a good walk spoiled. He wasn’t wrong, you know.
This course, it’s “challenging,” they say. Means it’s hard, I reckon. Not for the faint of heart, I guess. I ain’t faint of heart, but I ain’t got time for hittin’ little white balls all day neither. Got chores to do.
- Bentgrass Fairways: That fancy grass, all green and nice.
- Mountain Views: Them big ol’ Three Sisters, standin’ there.
- Red Sand Bunkers: Them sand traps, but red. Fancy, I guess.
- 18 Holes: A whole lotta walkin’ and hittin’ little white balls.
They keep it real nice and tidy, this golf course. “Immaculately maintained,” they call it. Means they cut the grass and rake the sand, I guess. Someone’s gotta do it. Probably pays more than farmin’, these days.
And it ain’t cheap, this golfin’ business. Heard tell it costs a pretty penny to play. Hundreds of dollars, they say. For a game! You could buy a good cow for that kinda money. Or a whole lotta chickens.
They got caddies, too. Folks to carry your clubs for ya. Compulsory, they say. Means you gotta have one, whether you want one or not. Spoiled folks, if you ask me. I carried my own slop bucket my whole life, and I ain’t complainin’.
Oregon, they say. Central Oregon. Pretty place, I hear. Lots of trees and mountains. And golf courses, apparently. Thirty golf courses, they say. That’s a lot of golfin’. Don’t know what folks see in it, myself.
But if you like hittin’ little white balls and walkin’ around on fancy grass, I guess Aspen Lakes Golf Course is the place to be. Just bring your wallet, ’cause it ain’t cheap. And don’t forget your sunscreen. Them mountains don’t block all the sun, you know.
And that’s about all I know ’bout this here Aspen Lakes Golf Course. Ain’t much, but it’s somethin’. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed my chickens.
Playing golf at Aspen Lakes Golf Course is supposed to be a “unique playing experience”. Well, I reckon diggin’ potatoes is a unique experience too, and it don’t cost ya an arm and a leg. But folks like what they like, I suppose. They say it’s a challenging course, so it probably ain’t for beginners. You probably need to know your way around a golf club. I know my way around a hoe, that’s for sure.
They say it’s close to Sisters, and that Sisters is a beautiful town. Maybe it is, maybe it ain’t. I’m happy right here on my farm. But if you’re one of them fancy golfin’ types, then Aspen Lakes Golf Course might just be your cup of tea. Just remember, it ain’t cheap, and you’ll be doin’ a whole lotta walkin’. But hey, at least you’ll have a nice view of them mountains, if you care about that sort of thing.
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